February 18, 2005

• Firework

  The feeling of being lost is certainly a strange one. It is definitely
  not emptiness because you still feel that there is "something" that you
  can, should, and want to reach; you simply don't know where that
  "something" is. It is also different from defeat because you have not
  found or reached failure. If anything, this feeling should be close to
  distress, minus the mental breakdown part.

  So what should one do about it? I don't know. In fact, I believe that
  it is a good sign to feel lost. The path of life should not only have a
  source and a destination, otherwise it would just be a straight line.
  Now, would you rather doodle, or draw a straight line and stare at it for the rest
  of the time?

  I'm not very good with analogies because I tend to digress in analogies, but I'll try my best here. Imagine a
  map with lots of cities. You begin your journey by telling yourself
  that you need to find the ideal, dream city, with the perfect
  landscape, where you shall set up the most beautiful firework show in
  the world. If you travelled and found the dream city immediately, then
  only one city would enjoy your firework show, you too would only get to
  watch one firework show. Fortunately, that's not what happens because
  you are lost and you don't know where that dream city is. So you force
  yourself to travel to numerous cities and try to set up a firework show
  in each of them. Now the firework shows in these more ordinary cities
  may not be the greatest in the world, but they are still fun to watch
  nonetheless. Furthermore, because you have practiced so much at these
  other cities that you can be pretty sure you'll put up an even better
  show when you finally find the dream city. Are you afraid that because
  you will have set up fireworks so many times that at the end you'll be
  fed up with them? Well, first of all, if fireworks ever become boring
  to you then perhaps you don't like firework that much after all.
  Secondly, when you travel among the cities, you don't just set up a
  firework show, watch, and then leave right away anyway. Whether you
  like it or not, you have to eat, you have to find lodging, you will
  walk on the street, and you will need to ask the people around you
  about the best spot to set up a firework show. So why not take a step
  back from the ultimate objectives of finding the dream city and the
  greatest firework show, and instead try to let yourself get distracted
  and savor every moment you spend searching and preparing?

  - SwordAngel

  • 12:31 am
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